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The unwanted gift of grief : a ministry approach / Tim P. VanDuivendyk.

By: Series: Haworth religion and mental healthPublication details: New York : Haworth Pastoral Press, c2006.Description: xv, 192 p. ; 22 cmISBN:
  • 0789029502
  • 9780789029508
  • 0789029499
  • 9780789029492
Subject(s):
Contents:
Foreword / John R. Claypool -- The unwanted gift of grief -- Grief as gratitude, grief as gift -- The wilderness of grief : the way to transformation without facing the pain -- Growth may be limited in dying to the old -- We rise to new life -- Grief : a journey of wondering and wandering in the wilderness -- Everyone grieves differently -- How long will I grieve? -- The effects of family and culture on grieving -- Different pathways through grief : think people, feel people, and act people -- Introverts and extroverts -- Factors that affect the wilderness of grief -- The faith factor -- The need for sojourners : counselors, ministers, and friends -- Sudden loss or slow, unfolding loss -- Rejection and suicide -- The life cycle and development -- Differentiation and enmeshment -- The wilderness of grief -- Unbelievable darkness -- The dynamics of darkness -- Types of shock and disbelief -- Temporary or permanent amnesia -- Frustration in the midst of why? -- Frustration and anger : part of the journey -- Frustration and anger as regret, remorse, or guilt -- Frustration and anger toward others -- Praying for a miracle -- Holy and earthly contracts : hope for healing and cure -- Miracles and saying yes to death and suffering -- Mom's good death -- Advance directives and do-not-resuscitate (DNR) orders -- Abby's good miracle -- Wrestling with sadness and depression -- Sadness and depression : normal parts of healing -- Movement into light and healing -- Signs of when depression is too deep -- Getting help : when, what, and where -- Healing : experiencing the light again -- Caution : euphoria may be ahead! -- What does this healing transformation look or feel like? -- What is this mysterious spirit that transforms us through the wilderness? -- And yet ... we never forget! -- The return of grief : peek-a-boo experiences -- Sojourners in the wilderness : how to help -- Being a sojourner -- What is a sojourner? -- Appendix: The sojourner process guide : walking with another through the wilderness of grief -- Sojourning with those who are in unbelievable darkness -- Sojourning with those who are frustrated and angry -- Sojourning with those praying for a miracle -- Sojourning with those wrestling with sadness and depression -- Sojourning with those in healing and light -- Marriage : tough enough without grief -- Couples and grieving -- Gender differences and grieving -- Complementarity in marriage and grief -- The gift of sexual closeness amid grief -- Appendix: The grief date : a guide for couples and family members -- Ways of making it through the wilderness of grief.
Review: "The Unwanted Gift of Grief is a passionate, practical guide through the grieving process for those who have suffered loss - and those who care for them. Rather than talking people out of their grief and pain as a way to make them feel better, this unique book invites them into the grief and pain as a way to healing, transformation, and hope. Using real and in-depth ministry and counseling conversations, it identifies the journey through the wilderness of grief. This powerful book is equally valuable as a professional guide for ministers and counselors, a training resource for lay ministers and congregations, and as a gift to a grieving person."--BOOK JACKET.

Includes bibliographical references (p. 185-188) and index.

Foreword / John R. Claypool -- The unwanted gift of grief -- Grief as gratitude, grief as gift -- The wilderness of grief : the way to transformation without facing the pain -- Growth may be limited in dying to the old -- We rise to new life -- Grief : a journey of wondering and wandering in the wilderness -- Everyone grieves differently -- How long will I grieve? -- The effects of family and culture on grieving -- Different pathways through grief : think people, feel people, and act people -- Introverts and extroverts -- Factors that affect the wilderness of grief -- The faith factor -- The need for sojourners : counselors, ministers, and friends -- Sudden loss or slow, unfolding loss -- Rejection and suicide -- The life cycle and development -- Differentiation and enmeshment -- The wilderness of grief -- Unbelievable darkness -- The dynamics of darkness -- Types of shock and disbelief -- Temporary or permanent amnesia -- Frustration in the midst of why? -- Frustration and anger : part of the journey -- Frustration and anger as regret, remorse, or guilt -- Frustration and anger toward others -- Praying for a miracle -- Holy and earthly contracts : hope for healing and cure -- Miracles and saying yes to death and suffering -- Mom's good death -- Advance directives and do-not-resuscitate (DNR) orders -- Abby's good miracle -- Wrestling with sadness and depression -- Sadness and depression : normal parts of healing -- Movement into light and healing -- Signs of when depression is too deep -- Getting help : when, what, and where -- Healing : experiencing the light again -- Caution : euphoria may be ahead! -- What does this healing transformation look or feel like? -- What is this mysterious spirit that transforms us through the wilderness? -- And yet ... we never forget! -- The return of grief : peek-a-boo experiences -- Sojourners in the wilderness : how to help -- Being a sojourner -- What is a sojourner? -- Appendix: The sojourner process guide : walking with another through the wilderness of grief -- Sojourning with those who are in unbelievable darkness -- Sojourning with those who are frustrated and angry -- Sojourning with those praying for a miracle -- Sojourning with those wrestling with sadness and depression -- Sojourning with those in healing and light -- Marriage : tough enough without grief -- Couples and grieving -- Gender differences and grieving -- Complementarity in marriage and grief -- The gift of sexual closeness amid grief -- Appendix: The grief date : a guide for couples and family members -- Ways of making it through the wilderness of grief.

"The Unwanted Gift of Grief is a passionate, practical guide through the grieving process for those who have suffered loss - and those who care for them. Rather than talking people out of their grief and pain as a way to make them feel better, this unique book invites them into the grief and pain as a way to healing, transformation, and hope. Using real and in-depth ministry and counseling conversations, it identifies the journey through the wilderness of grief. This powerful book is equally valuable as a professional guide for ministers and counselors, a training resource for lay ministers and congregations, and as a gift to a grieving person."--BOOK JACKET.

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